What is a Restless Mind?
Restless Mind! Have you even heard of such a thing? Even the calmest people can get caught up in their thoughts racing from time to time. There is something called Restless Mind Syndrome. I really do not think it is what most of us deal with. But, it is entirely possible that you have a restless mind for what seems like forever (more like a few weeks at a time). Often a restless mind makes it hard to sleep or concentrate on a task. So, it really feels like forever though when you are coping with it.
Why do we do it?
Research shows that our minds are restless because we are afraid of some negative outcome. This is so easy to say but what does that really mean?
It could be that we are afraid of missing out (FOMO) on something. Or it could be that deep down we know some problem is important to solve and we keep coming back to it. Lastly it could be that we feel an attack on our core and fear that change would be bad. It is like a survival instinct.
The Truth about Restless Minds
The truth is that most of us are coping with stress. We are brain thrashing it until we are sick of thinking about it. I do it all the time. Stress (anxiety) can cause us to do all sorts of crazy things. You know what I mean?
When I am coping with a restless mind the way I cut short the cycle is to use these prompts to help calm my mind. Sometimes it takes a few nights to get a good night sleep, but it seems to be a bullet proof magic for me.
Write these prompts before bed (or before your big event if that is what you are brain thrashing).
Prompts for a Restless Mind
1. The thing I keep thinking about is…
Sometimes this is easy. I am thinking about it and just crushing it to death. But other times I have 3 or 4 things I am working out and it takes time to get them all down on paper.
2. The background of my current situation is…
Most of the time I can figure out the background of my thoughts quickly. Sometimes I get caught writing a few days’ worth of events to sort out when an important relationship is on the ropes. It can be painful to examine the background what you are thinking about.
3. My core fear about this is…
Fear is such a tricky subject. Since I am a husband/father/provider with 5 kids I have in my mind that I should not be afraid of anything – bring it on! But the truth is I am afraid of many things. Especially failure at work, in relationships, my kid’s future… Write, claim it, own it! It is good for your brain. Now go!
4. The untrue story I am telling myself about this thing is…
Seriously? Do we tell ourselves untrue stories? Yes. All. The. Time. If you have ever read the book Crucial Conversations, you will remember that most conflict between people is because we tell ourselves untrue stories. We perceive “slights” that are not actually there. Our fear drives this so double check your fear prompt! 😊
If you are brain thrashing a non-relationship problem. Then you are likely telling yourself an untrue story about what will happen if you fail. Failure is an important topic. But it is rarely deadly (unless you are doing brain surgery or packing parachutes).
5. 3 things I am grateful for are…
Now that you have the background. The core fear. And the untrue story on paper. It is time two write what you are grateful for.
Gratitude can be the antidote for so many things. My Sunday School teacher when I was in 5th grade used to say, “Count your blessing one by one!” I remember my eyes rolling with contempt for her. Now I write gratitude statements every day…
Only if she knew the regret of my behavior! 😣
Here is an important next step!
When you do these a few times, look back and see how you are progressing. It will not take long before you calm your mind and become so much more effective at everything you do!
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