Some of the hardest yet most healthy journaling is when you can process negative experiences. If you are like me, you have a hard time writing about negative experiences. I have (as well as you have) an inner “safety officer” afraid that someone will get a hold of your journal and read it. Writing about negative experiences and your personal feelings about them can be dangerous in some circumstances. So, the first thing you must work out is privacy.
Safety is not trivial
How do you write and ensure that you are the only one that will read what you are writing? It is a tough call for sure. Some folks write and burn or write and shred. I have met folks that keep their journals in a home safe (sounds like an expensive solution). Others hide their journal among things that would not be of any interest to anyone. These are acceptable ways to journal in safety. Furthermore, I have looked and have not found research that suggests rereading old journals adds to the benefit of journaling. So, go ahead and write a shred if you’d like. The benefit you get in writing about negative experiences is in the writing not the editing, storing and reviewing.
Fast and Furious
You really can’t process negative experiences without also feeling safe to do so. So, once you get your privacy strategy setup. You are ready to get busy. Since writing about negative experiences is uncomfortable it is best to start out with something that is calming. Getting the ink flowing on the page is the key so write the lyrics of a favorite song or a quote from your favorite movie. I write a few bible verses that I have memorized to get the ink flowing. The point is to get comfortable with your writing environment. Pro Tip: a strange thing that happens to me when I sit and try to write in the first 5 minutes something happens to keep me from writing. I believe that if you start by writing a quote or scripture it will give time for that interruption to occur. 👍 Reducing interruptions is big part of the safety routine.
Now that you have your pen on the paper and the ink is flowing the important part is to keep writing. Don’t let the inner critic tell you about that comma splice! No one cares! You are the only reader of this journal entry. Do your best to be truthful. Say it like it is on this draft and say it as fast as you can. I’ve looked back at my own journal entries dealing with negative experiences and they are by far the messiest speed writing of any entry. The point is to get the experience on the page NOT create an Instagram post.
If you need a format here is one that works for me:
- When, where and what happened?
- Who was involved?
- What led up to this?
- What is the aftermath or consequence?
- How does this make me feel?
- Why do I feel this way?
When it’s all done but the crying
After you’ve written and got it all out. The next thing is to reflect about what you wrote. This might be the hardest part of working out negative experiences. Reread your entry and write if this is something you can control or something that is not in your control. Then write/brainstorm about how you can be better prepared for next time. Write about how you’ve grown from this process. Write about writing it out and what else you need to write out.
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